What’s been keeping me so busy lo, these past many days, has been an amalgamation of vocal competitions and a musical in which I was cast as a dancer (that’s a joke) and a new kitty (perfection, my life is complete) and an innate desire to stay in bed for eternity (the sheets, they are just so soft). And aside from the cat finally dominating and forcing us to move a teacup display into the spare room and clear off a space for her to take up residence on the dresser and the windowsill above it to either look outside or stare at us while we sleep, like a creepster, not many low points have happened.
So, you might as well know now: I have a seizure disorder. And before you start flipping out about that, I use the words seizure and disorder pretty lightly because to my knowledge, I’ve only had one grand mal seizure in my life, which led to a fun trip to the ER in an ambulance (without any underwear on — that was a fun discovery while waiting for a cat scan, let me tell you). And then I went on medicine and then I was fine for forever.
Although … sometimes I will be struck with an odd inability to form words, like I’m having a stroke or, you know, a seizure.
(Kind of sick that I’m writing about this in a humor blog like it’s humorous because probably it is not, but I’ve come to find out about myself that it’s the things I shouldn’t find funny that are, inevitably, hilarious).
So I went to my vocal competition this past weekend and kind of killed it (I’ve yet to decide if I’m more pleased with the cash prizes or the free Cafe Rio meals or the gift certificates to a beauty school that promises some sort of great scalp massage treatment) in both divisions. But before I knew I’d killed it, before I was presented with gifts and prizes and compliments and what seemed to be a straight up offer to play Christmas Eve in “Avenue Q,” while I was still competing against a bunch of girls in really cute dresses, I became somewhat dumbfounded.
Yep. Had a mini seizure just right in the middle of my song. But of course no one really knew except for me, so it was more or less the appearance of forgetting the lyrics and changing my character’s name from Morales to Moreallen. Yeah. Moreallen. Like that’s a real word or something.
My voice teacher’s face during this episode was priceless, by the way.
Yet I killed it and won and got prizes and I suppose the real low point in all of this is that my opponents (opponents? That doesn’t seem right. It’s not like we were wrestling each other. Other competitors?) lost to a girl having a seizure.
And, sure, I’ll post a video of it because I’m nothing if not shameless.