Consider it as racist as you want, but I think we can all agree that Asian women leave much to be desired when it comes to driving. Once, my father was taking me somewhere and an Asian woman was literally driving straight down the middle of the road. When he honked, she waved at him.
Polite thing, wasn’t she?
In defense of Asian women everywhere, I’m going to speak for them all. I know, that’s a comforting thing if you’re an Asian woman. We’re short, we have bad depth perception, and the sun visors don’t actually work unless we prop ourselves up, practically standing in the car, limited by the seat belt. There’s a lot at work against us, but we persevere on.
Anyhow, I got a new car recently. A little car designed by Asians and, I like to think, for Asians. It has lots of visibility and the seat goes up and down so as to avoid the whole sun in my eyes despite the sun visor being down and sunglasses on my face situation. I can even leave my heel on the ground while I accelerate instead of propping my foot up on the gas pedal the entire time I drive.
Yeah, that’s a thing.
The specs: We got a 2012 Nissan Versa SL hatchback. I didn’t really know what SL meant beyond a spoiler and rims and a fasty fast engine, but apparently SL also means a lower front bumper.
They need to tell you this stuff up front.
So I took Husband out for a spin the other day to the grocery store (living on the edge, people), when I went careening out of the parking lot (not really careening), resulting in the nastiest noise a new car can make. But, of course, I didn’t know the car was making the noise; I thought there was something in the road because — don’tcha know — I’d careened out of parking lots several times alone, hearing the same noise. Repeatedly. Clearly there was something wrong with Utah roads (amongst, you know, other things).
So Husband gritted his teeth all the way home and told me I needed to crawl under the front of the car so he could
run over me show me what sort of clearance I had when it came to curbs.
And that’s when we discovered all the damage.
I should probably mention that we purchased this car on September 28th, so it is really a mere babe in the woods. We haven’t even received the real license plates in the mail yet. We haven’t gotten the windows tinted. The cargo mat is still rolled up and taped and covered in plastic because I haven’t needed to use it yet.
But what we both discovered Saturday morning was that, in fact, there wasn’t much wrong with Utah roads. And technically there’s not a whole lot wrong with my driving style out of parking lots except for a misunderstanding of how my car was ill-designed (thanks a LOT, fellow Asians for LETTING ME DOWN).
There’s a lot of wrong in the probably more than $400 worth of damage I have caused the underside of my front bumper in the past couple weeks.
I didn’t mean to.