When Kitchens Go Bad

I once jokingly told a friend this blog essentially writes itself. In looking over the past few days, I’d say that’s not really a joke anymore.

Truth be told, I thought the low point of my day occurred within the first half hour of work, when I was sitting in a relatively quiet meeting and took a drink out of my Camelbak water bottle, producing a really loud, really convincing fart noise. A couple coworkers looked my way, and I just continued to eyeball my water bottle, as though that would convince them I hadn’t emitted that noise.

Photo courtesy of camelbak.com
You never know when your water bottle will betray you.

Seriously, it was my water bottle.

The remainder of the workday was relatively uneventful — I worked, I clocked out, I went home. And that’s when the real trouble began.

When I walked through the front door, my nose was immediately met with the worst. stinky. garbage. ever. In the world. Ever. I immediately took it out to the dumpster, opened the windows, and figured doing the dishes and making dinner would improve things. But when I put the water on to boil, I discovered food particles in the burner plate, and the scent of burning food swirled around with the stinky garbage scent. I forged on ahead.

The Low Point

You know how little kids try to open plastic bags of say, chips or crackers, and consequently scatter the contents willy nilly? I’ve never actually grown out of this. And so,

They flew across the counter and onto the kitchen floor — it was surprising, really how they covered nearly our entire kitchen (I mean, our kitchen is about the size of a closet so that’s not as impressive as it sounds, I suppose). I swept the floor noodles into a small pile and decided to leave them till I finished dinner.

That was an awesome plan, because

bare footed, I stepped on the entire pile. Basically that totally sucked.

To recap: Stinky garbage smell + burnt food permeation + dry egg noodles under bare feet.

Awesome.

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