She Never Was Good at Math

A Memory: Once, when I was in grade school, I saw a commercial for Sylvan Learning Centers and told my mother I needed math help from one of their fine tutors.

It didn’t happen.

So we all know that I’m Asian, and the majority of society assumes that means I excel at Math. This is kind of wrong, guys. I’ve tried to tell myself that I’m not bad at Math — I just prefer to study things like reading or writing. But, the bottom line is that I am horrible at Math. Always have been, always will be. It’s probably mostly due to my despise of the subject; I knew a woman who once told me she was a Math atheist (she just didn’t believe in it!), and that sounds about right. But I also think I lack some sort of brain function that allows me to comprehend mathematical equations. Especially in a timely manner.

Photo courtesy of gettyimages.com
Take your time, little girl. Don't let the pressure get to you.

Throughout my life, I’ve managed to teach myself the important stuff — pre-tip calculator on cell phones I could calculate 15% of pretty much every meal bill and I was a whiz at figuring out sale prices. That is, till they invented those price checkers in most major department and box stores.

I love those things.

The Low Point

This morning, I decided to make a special Easter breakfast for Husband and me because, you know, the four person feast I’d planned for late lunch wouldn’t be enough for the day. Initially the plan was Monkey Bread, but upon realizing I’d have to get it into the oven at 6:30 am (I used math!), that was downgraded to oatmeal with berry sauce.

I stumbled into the too-bright kitchen this morning after only about 5 hours of sleep, and immediately set to work. I looked at the oatmeal container and read the instructions: 1 cup of oatmeal, 1 3/4 cups of water, pinch of salt, boil it, let it set, blah blah blah.

Photo courtesy of gettyimages.com

After all the pre-feast cooking I did last night, all the measuring cups were dirty, so (gasp) I picked up the least dirty and used it to measure out the water, which happened to be the 1/2 cup. So, mathematically speaking, 1 3/4 cups would be the equivalent of four 1/2 cups and half of a 1/2 cup. But in my groggy, early morning brain, 1 3/4 cups was the equivalent of seven 1/2 cups and half of a 1/2 cup.

For those of you even more mathematically challenged than me, I boiled up 3 3/4 cups of water.

So naturally I stood there for awhile, wondering why the oatmeal was sitting in the pan, sloshing around, but somehow fully cooked. I finally figured it out (thank goodness), and then I wondered how it was that I was two full cups off. I blame it on groggy, early morning brain.

Also, I don’t believe in Math.

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