Why I Hate Swimming

A Confession: I usually tell people I hate swimming because it’s boring or I hate getting wet or I’d rather not have people see me in a swimsuit or I’ve failed to remember shaving my legs. All of these are true, but they’re not the core reason why I generally want to avoid pools. Or water. Or family functions.

Within a few months of Husband and me getting married, his aunt and uncle held a family summer pool party. This was the first opportunity I’d have to meet the extended family members, aside from Grandpa, and I was looking forward to the experience. Four uncles, most of their wives, cousins (who are all freakishly younger than us), Grandpa, they’d all pretty much be there. And I’m pretty positive Husband told me, very specifically beforehand, to not do anything to embarrass him. Like he actually needed to tell me this. I was going to make this first impression be amazing and unforgettable.

Photo courtesy of gettyimages.com

The Low Point

Husband and I were in the pool with cute niece and impressionable nephew, and they were playing Keep Away. I was just kind of hanging around in the general vicinity because at that point I’d only been married a couple months and was surrounded by a vast number of strangers and I was 140 lbs. In a swimsuit. Distorted imagery created by water waves was my friend and Husband was my security blanket. And then it happened. Husband starts saying to me, “Mary! Mary! MARY! MARY!” and I don’t know, this didn’t seem very abnormal so I just kind of waved at him and said hi and finally (yeah, I still question why this wasn’t the first thing out of his mouth), “YOUR SWIMSUIT!”

Guess which one of your favorite bloggers was inadvertently flashing every one of her new family members. Full throttle.

Photo courtesy of gettyimages.com

If you’re a woman, then you know all about that section in “Seventeen” magazine where girls anonymously share their most embarrassing moments and the entire time you’re reading them, you’re thinking to yourself, “Ha! Glad that wasn’t ME!”

I’ll bet you’re experiencing that right now. And that is the story of why I hate swimming.


4 thoughts on “Why I Hate Swimming

  1. I haven’t ‘liked’ this to be mean. I feel your pain/embarrassment. A similar thing happened to me a few weeks back (see my blog entry ‘what a tit’ for details, if you like), Don’t let it put you off swimming, it wasn’t the pool’s fault, blame the swimsuit! Grab a new one and make a splash! x

    • I absolutely blame the swimsuit and the store I bought it at and, for good measure, the state in which I bought it. 🙂 Sorry you’ve been through a similar experience! Just awful! But also kind of hilarious.

  2. Pingback: Rocks « The Low Point

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